EMMA:
Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.
Emma, to me, is the ultimate it girl. She’s self aware enough to be endearing to everyone who has ever met her but also still learning about who she is and the world around her. She’s invested in her friendships, she loves her family. She is content and kind but also forward thinking. She’s able to reflect and learn from her mistakes. It’s impossible to deny that she was the prototype for it girls to come - Clueless’s Cher was carved in her image.
As I navigate my early/mid-twenties, I am turning to Emma as an ideal of a woman carving her way by being headstrong. Though the morale of the story is a lesson against her meddling know-it-all-ness, she is only so successful in retaining good faith, true love, and best friendship because she was so specifically herself. I am working on being the truest version of myself, while also not falling into the mentality of being victim to my circumstances. In finding my footing, I often make misteps. In navigating my relationships, I’m not always kind or right. Part of Emma’s endearing essence is her ability to change the course of her behavior.
Emma and Mr. Knightleys relationship isn’t quite enemies to lovers, nor is it friends to lovers - rather it’s its own entity of confidants to lovers. Realizing the person you trust most may be the best match for a partner. I won’t lie that I don’t secretly resent my family for not having the obvious-choice, slightly older, handsome wealthy good guy to have been there all along for me to just discover in the end. How fortunate are people who have that! But it is a lesson that maybe you should open yourself up to respecting your partner before loving them.
For this first of several essays about my dearest Jane Austen’s works, I thumbed through my well-worn copy of Emma. I’ve drawn hearts across the pages and underlined some of the quotes I hold in my heart. I’m attaching with them real life lessons and my inspiration for how I plan on conducting myself and handling my autonomy in the future.
Page 12:
She had a husband whose warm heart and sweet temper made him think everything due to her in return for the great goodness of being in love with him.
Page 35:
“I confess that I have seldom seen a face or figure more pleasing to me than hers"
“There is health not merely in her bloom, but in her air, her head, her glance…she is loveliness herself”
“I have not a fault to find with her person”
Page 72:
“Do not be overpowered by such a little tribute of admiration.”
YUP. EXACTLY what Miss Emma Woodhouse said - A message sent with invisible ink outweighs all of your inhabilitions? Be for real. Knowing your worth is about valuing fair treatment from ALL your relationships. I would never cancel or warp plans for a fairweather friend so why would I do so for anyone, especially a boy, who values me for less than who I am and what I deserve?
Page 86:
A warmer love might have seemed impossible.
Page 121:
“Who can think of Miss Smith when Miss Woodhouse is near?”
Page 135:
“There is one thing, Emma, which a man can always do, if he chooses, and that is his duty; not by maneuvering and finessing but by vigor and resolution.”
This is truly the original “If he wanted to, he would” - Stop making excuses (either for yourself or for other people) and be direct with who you are, what you want, and what you need to do. If someone is unable or honestly unwilling to be a good person to you, that is a flaw on their character. If you are fine with being mistreated, that is a flaw on yours.
Page 142:
“I am sure there is nobody’s praise that could give us so much pleasure as Miss Woodhouse’s.”
Page 152:
Highbury afforded no young men worthy of giving her independence.
Thinking of this age from the future, looking back, I hope that there are no moments I sacrifice to the wrong boys. No friendships ruined or time invested in the wrong people. I hope that in work, I make no career misteps that prevent me from opportunities I would actually care about. My independence, my happiness, and my circumstance should all be centered around people and choices that enhance my life, rather than what constricts it.
Page 159:
“It is such a happiness when good people get together - and they always do.”
Page 167:
Harriet was one of those, who, having once begun, would always be in love.
Being in love can be a state of mind where everything feels lovelier. But love cannot be transferred from one person to anyone else. When I ended my first relationship, I wanted desperately to be in love again; one thing that took me a while to realize is that what I felt for a person I got to know is not transferable- I cannot be in love for the sake of being in love. A concreate clause in that, however, was that my love wasn’t expendable either. My capacity for love that strong exisited regardless of pushing it on to another person. It didn’t disapate, it just has to sit idle, recouperating, until the well of emotions is filled agian with the right experiences.
Page 185:
“There is safety in reserve, but no attraction. One cannot love a reserved person.”
When you second guess yourself for being too much, remember that someone who falls in love with the watered down version of you has not fallen in love with you at all.
Page 195:
The kindest looks of love, the strongest of admiration, were for her
Page 197:
“I smile because you smile”
Page 206:
“I have heard him say that he could listen to her for ever.”
Page 210:
The visit afforded her many pleasant recollections the next day.
There is no feeling more intoxicating than a lingering kiss or smell or memory the next morning. After my last great love-bombing conquest, I went and sat in Tompkins Square park early, early in the morning with the scent of his sheets on my skin and the phantom feeling of his touch over my body. I wish I could live in a permanent state of that feeling, but sometimes they don’t last quite as we expect them too. That was our last great night together.
Page 212:
“Harriet, tempted by everything and swayed by half a word”
Losing sensabilities for minimal effort encourages life to continue to give you less than you deserve. Scary and daunting, reject half-ass efforts.
Page 221:
“I would have given worlds - all the worlds one ever has to give - for another half hour.”
Page 242:
“Every consideration of the subject, in short, makes me thankful that my happiness is not more deeply involved.”
Page 243:
He had been very much struck with the loveliness of her face and the warm simplicity of her manner.
Page 337:
Evert distinguishing attention that could be paid, was paid to her. To amuse her and be agreeable in her eyes, seemed all that he cared for.
Page 379:
How long had Mr. Knightley been so dear to her, as every feeling now declared him to be?
Page 381:
Till now that she was threatened with its loss, Emma had never known how much of her happiness depended on being first with Mr. Knightley, first in interest and affection.
Page 393:
“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”
Page 396:
Mr. Knightley could not impute to Emma a more relenting heart than she possessed, or a heart more disposed to accept of his.
Page 397:
The sweetest and best of all creatures, faultless in spite of all her faults.
The best version of yourself is the most genuine.
Emma, my darling, my dearest. The self-discovering ingenue, convinced she knows the world better than anyone else yet still unsure of who she is. I keep from you the virtues of a woman, in love with her own life, learning to open herself up to the gravity of the world but with that, receiving the greatest pleasures life has to offer. Enjoying my twenties, blonde, young, indestructible but allowing myself to still feel. I’ll relinquish some of my control but I’ll never water down the essence of myself. And hopefully, I’ll allow my virtues to shine brighter than my vices in the face of the unknowns of my twenties.